Shirking Nine to Five

from by Hattie Hatstar

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about

In the late 80's and early 90's, when there was only 4 channels on the TV, the jobfinder pages from Ceefax would come on the TV late in the night...

lyrics

Nine to Five (Hattie Hatstar rewrite)

Don't get up until a quarter past seven
Breakfast at lunchtime
Lunch around seven
yawn stretch
fail to come to life.
Drink black coffee, chain smoke joints,
Go out clubbing and drink six pints
Well I've got to go home
Job finder's on at five.

Shirking nine to five
What a way to fake a living
Barely getting by
Squatting, signing on and stealing,
They've found me a job even though I acted thick,
Do you think my doctor
Could get me on the sick?

I'm quite good at sitting around thinking
I am brilliant at irresponsible drinking,
I'm good at reading, I'm good at cooking the tea.
I can spend all day in a onesie,
Pontificating and drinking coffee,
But I'm really really really really shit at making money.

Shirking nine to five
What a way to fake a living
Barely getting by
Squatting, signing on and stealing,
They've found me a job even though I acted thick,
Do you think my doctor
Could get me on the sick?
Shirking nine to five
Well I never see the sunshine
Apart from on the days
When I sign on at lunchtime,
You might call me bad, and lazy and insane,
But I'm busy expanding the right side of my brain.

I don't get up until a quarter past seven
Breakfast at lunchtime
Lunch around seven
yawn stretch
fail to come to life.
Drink black coffee, chain smoke joints,
Go out clubbing and drink six pints
Well I've got to go home
Job finder's on at five.

nb. 'Job finder' were the local job pages from ceefax that used to come on TV at 5 in the morning in the early 90's

credits

from Mental Floss, released February 22, 2016

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about

Hattie Hatstar England, UK

After 17 years of poking fun at everyone and everything on the festival and club circuit, Hattie Hatstar is a finely tuned weapon, using wit to make occasionally serious points.

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