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Fit For Armageddon

from Mental Floss by Hattie Hatstar

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about

Fitness and prepping all in one song.

lyrics

So now I have taken up running
To beat my middle age spread,
And I'm in training for Armageddon
Cos the fastest looters always get fed,
So although you are walking faster than me
And I am turning bright red
In the end
I will be running and you will be dead.
What will Armageddon be,
Will Jesus Christ come down to judge me
Or will zombies eat my brains for tea
Will the world flood, or a mixture of the three?
So although you are walking faster than me
And I am turning bright red
In the end
I will be running and you will be dead.

So now I have taken up skiing
To beat the avalanche of doom
Coming my way
And it's a very impractical habit
For an English person on a very low wage.
My movements aren't fluid or graceful,
And my arms flap about in the air
But as long as I can beat the grim reaper
Why should I care?
What will Armageddon be,
Will Jesus Christ come down to judge me
Or will zombies eat my brains for tea
Will the world flood, or a mixture of the three?
My movements aren't fluid or graceful,
And my arms flap about in the air
But as long as I can beat the grim reaper
Why should I care?

So now I have taken up swimming
And I'll be able to float like the ark,
And like most middle aged women in a costume
I look lumpy and droopy and better in the dark,
But come the final judgement
With my swimming hat firm on my head,
I will be swimming
And you, you will be dead.
What will Armageddon be,
Will Jesus Christ come down to judge me
Or will zombies eat my brains for tea
Will the world flood, or a mixture of the three?
But come the final judgement
With my swimming hat firm on my head,
I will be swimming
And you, you will be dead.

credits

from Mental Floss, released February 22, 2016

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Hattie Hatstar England, UK

After 20 years of poking fun at everyone and everything on the festival and club circuit, Hattie Hatstar is a finely tuned weapon, using wit to make occasionally serious points.

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